i spend most of my time at her house these days. beginning early in the morning if there are doctor appointments to get to. sometimes i stay all day, cause there are a dozen things she needs done. i had no idea how busy a person she was before. she never stopped moving.

not anymore. well, not for the time being anyway.

her white blood cell count was very low this week. they put her on antibiotics. she is SO tired. i'm worried.

she told me the other day she had 'lost her enthusiasm'. that is huge for her. even for the most ordinary things, she always had the energy and the desire to participate. i wish there was something more i could do. i can only be there to help, and love, and show her she is not alone in this battle. we will get her through this together.

today was her birthday. i'm so glad we got to spend it with her. i'm glad she's made it this far. the stroke has been the hardest part of all. she just is so limited in what she can do for herself, and the things we take for granted are ten times as hard to accomplish. but still she presses on. no choice but to keep going.


tomorrow is another day - she wants to take a shower. she's so exhausted, it's going to be tough, but i look forward to seeing her every day. life has more purpose and meaning now.